Some folks @ BSM's service on Sunday Night asked me to post this meditation I offered imagining an encounter between john the baptist and a visitor to his cell. I don't always write meditations to this level of detail.
Thank you for coming to see me. I haven’t had a visitor since I got in this horrible cell. I have no idea why they let you in here.
You say you are a follower of my cousin. I know they didn’t let you in because of that! Jesus is no more popular than I am around here.
I am surprised people still remember me on the outside. I have been here so long now I nearly forgot my own name—when I lose track of time, I just remember to repeat my name over and over—John ben Zechariah…
Since I arrived in the prison, the other prisoners call me John the Baptizer. The guards think it’s funny. You had asked about my trial date…and I must say I am not sure. There were never any formal charges filed by Herod’s court so I am not sure when the trial is supposed to take place. I am not even positive what I am in here for…but I can guess.
Many of the members of the high priesthood don’t take too kindly to being told to repent and change their ways. In my experience, Powerful religious people think they are the ones who set other people straight. I never studied that much TORAH with the rabbis but I know this—God is always humbling the SELF-ASSURED.
You never get it so right that you still can’t learn something and often that learning comes from some unlikely places—AT LEAST WHERE THE HOLY ONE IS CONCERNED. But these men of learning...these men who supposedly KNOW GOD’s HEART…They don’t want to hear it—especially from folks like me.
Who died and made me God’s spokesman they say?…and from the looks of things I wonder if they aren’t right.
And if you think the religious elite don’t like me…the political rulers aren’t too keen on me either.
I am sure much of what I talk about could be construed as seditious or even treasonous to the politicians around here. You should have heard me as a younger man…I could really bring down the house when I preached in the towns and the squares. I could feel God’s righteousness in my veins as I proclaimed the Reign of God…the end of suffering...the coming triumph of the powerless over the proud and the confident. You would think that if you were powerful you wouldn’t let things that people like me say bother you too much—but they really came down on me harshly.
Beatings, arrests, imprisonment. They spread rumors about me to my family…infiltrated my band of followers. Anything to derail my mission—my proclamation. But that only made me more on fire…more ALIVE…God gave me the strength to continue…and I was relentless.
And here I sit before you. On a good day, I may be 10percent of the man I was. I don’t want to admit this to you but I fear this miserable cell has broken me down. And not for reasons you might think. Sure, the food is worse than the locusts and wild honey I used to eat out in the hills…(that was mostly for effect but it really got some folks attention). And on many days it is almost unbearable being trapped inside this dreary cell.
Even more than missing good food, I miss being outdoors. Ever since I was small I have always had a restless soul and the outdoors always called me out—to wander and to WONDER. It is so ironic that I would wind up here—cooped up like an animal inside—with no light and no crisp night air. It is especially cruel for someone like me—who loved to walk for miles with my followers complaining that they wanted to stop and rest in the villages—
When the chilled air shocked my lungs as night fell, I forced myself to breathe even more deeply…I always preferred to sleep under the stars—braving the driving wind and creepy crawling creatures that would wake me. I didn’t care—I never felt more alive than when I was outside breathing that fresh clean air and here I draw in stale, rancid breaths.
No, it’s not the slop they serve as food around here that got to me. Nor was it the lack of natural light or fresh clean air.
It is the isolation really.
I always put my mission first. Following where I thought I was being led FIRST. I made the mistake of taking the people in my life for granted—until I was cut off from them. You are the first person I have seen who doesn’t have it in for me since I don’t know when…
Being alone gets to you—you know? I suppose there are some good parts about being in this situation. I have had a lot of time to go over things in my mind. To reflect. To remember. You say you are a follower of my cousin? I have been thinking about him a lot since I got in here…
You see our lives—and maybe even our destinies—have been knit together since before we were born. Our mothers were never what you would call close—sure they loved each other and all—but that isn’t the same as being close. I guess it was because they were so different. My mother-Elizabeth-was the life of every party. Many called her loud—men in town thought she was uppity…maybe that’s where I got my sharp tongue from. She never thought she would have a child—and she told me that almost every night before she put me to bed when I was young. She would kiss me and tell me that…I was the only person she ever kissed. Hugs? Sure…dime a dozen for everyone she met…family, storekeepers, strangers! But kisses were reserved for her boy—me.
Mary on the other hand could be in a room—sitting right beside you—and you wouldn’t know she was even there.
She was gentle but tougher than you might think. And man! Did she love my cousin! He was her everything.,,which is something he and I had in common—our mother’s devotion! And that might be the only thing.
I was good at sports and hunting.
He was a whiz in school and good with his hands.
He was always studying—I was always coming up with reasons not to study.
We were more friends than rivals.
But we were both driven kids.
We pushed each other—he being younger I always had the upper hand but he was right there. Our parents were always telling us that God had plans for us. Most of the time we looked at each other and shrugged. I remember him like it was yesterday shrugging his shoulders.
And now look what has happened. The sense of God’s urgings came gradually for both of us…more and more we felt God’s presence creeping into us—taking hold of our wills. I felt like I was being prepared to take on the world. As for my cousin Jesus, as God got stronger in his life, he almost seemed to be more withdrawn—more in his own thoughts-meditative almost.
But me? Meditation? Nah…I was given words. Language. Calling people out of their ‘work-a-day’ slumber. Calling them to WAKE UP! To see the SUFFERING AMONG US AS AN OFFENSE TO GOD. To TURN AWAY from the habits of oppression and gossip and EMNITY between friends and neighbors. AWAY FROM SELFISHNESS—TOWARD LOVE, GENEROSITY, HOPE. Our paths diverged but then collided again all at once.
Just the other day I was thinking about when my cousin appeared in front of me to be baptized. Him with his band of rag-tag followers.
It had been some time since we saw each other. I felt filled with the strength and power of the Spirit. He seemed calm and serene—but strong. Committed. Driven. When I touched his head and lowered him into the waters…I knew God was in him—in him in a unique way.
And that was the last I saw him. I continued on my path—proclaiming the coming of God’s reign. Calling on the powerful to turn toward goodness. Pleading with those whose hearts were heavy that God would wipe away their tears. But I never saw him again before they threw me in this cell!
Through friends and family, I heard about the marvels he was doing. And more miraculous than feeding of the masses, or healing the sick or the one I heard about him raising a young girl from the dead—I heard that he was scandalizing the RELIGIOUS EXPERTS by keeping company with prostitutes and thieves.
I even heard he was eating with tax-collectors—which is something I can’t even understand. Why would he do that?
When I was with him in the river, I had this sense that God’s reign—God’s desires—were about to EXPLODE on the scene. When I heard of his ministry, I allowed myself to dream that the tables were finally beginning to turn.
And with joy in my heart, God was going to accomplish these things! And through my little cousin—Jesus—no less!
The boy with the lisp—the one who couldn’t climb trees like the rest of us. It was him that God had chosen as a light to those of us who walked in darkness. God was with us-through him!
That feeling seems very distant as I sit here with you. In darkness. All alone.
Well, not all alone I suppose-sorry.
It’s just that I can’t shake some awful thoughts. I feel like when God revealed the path He wanted me to take—I jumped at the chance. He led me in down a treacherous path and I took it willingly. It felt so real then—as real as any danger I might be in. I could deal with the danger because I felt confident of God. Do you know what I mean? If God is present, danger seems insignificant.
And now, as I sit here awaiting my fate, I can’t help but wonder—was that God—or did I just make that part up? Did I throw my life away for nothing? Will I never see my mother again because I thought I was called by God—did I delude myself? Forgive me but the evidence that God is working in the world and in my life right now sometimes escapes me as I sit here in this cell.
If I only knew that God was still working on things.
If I just knew that the Kingdom was upon us.
If I knew that God would carry the day, I could deal with this loneliness.
So now I need to hear from you. What have you seen?
You have told me that the blind can now see because of my cousin. That may be true…but I ask you…IS HE THE ONE?
Is he the one who has come to set us free…
to make the powerful question themselves?
Is he the one who can drive anxiety from the hearts of the anxious?
Is he the one who can forge peace in this violent world
—removing our urges to retaliate against each other?
As I sit here, is he the one to set the prisoners free?
You have seen him, you have eaten with him, you are listening to his words—seeing his actions.
Tell me—is he the one I and others have been longing for?
Is he the one who can set my heart on fire again with hope?
Tell me friend, is my cousin Jesus the one we have been waiting for? Well, IS HE?
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